Sibling Incest Class?

This Week’s Sign The Apocalypse Is Upon Us

by Rebekah Maxwell


Last weekend, as you sent your beloved young adult back to college for the term, you’re thinking, “Man, life is getting more expensive. What with 5% less in my paycheck (thanks, guv’ment), and costs of college skyrocketing, I really hope Suzie gets the most out of this year, because I just don’t know how many more mortgages I can put on our house. But then again, she’s learning. She’ll get a good job. It’s a good investment.”

You ask if you can bring her sofa to her dorm on Wednesday.

“Sorry, Dad. I’ve got my sibling incest class that day.”

“Ok, how about….wait. What?!”

Yes, our friends at uncovered this gem of postmodernism.

The University of Missouri will be offering a class on “Sibling Incest” this spring.

According to the University of Missouri’s official description, the class will “examine the deployment of erotic desire, love, and sympathy as political, economic, and textual strategies, and analyze the gender dynamics involved in such deployment.”

Professor Stefani Engelstein of the Department of Women’s and Gender Studies will teach class in hour-long sessions twice a week.

The official description says the course will focus on “the way incest functions to establish or to upset identity in the context of national, religious, racial, and familial structures.”

“Finally, we will investigate the positioning of the incest taboo at the border of nature and culture, or science and the humanities, in the context of the founding of disciplines and the policing of their boundaries.”

While the professor didn’t return Campus Reform’s request for comment, she is reportedly writing a book on this same topic. In this lecture on gender and sex entitled “How Many Sexes Are There?” Engelstein predicts the death of traditional gender roles because they are no longer useful.

“We have started to come to terms with the fact that there is no biological definition of sex. We construct these ideas,” Engelstein says.

She posits that, instead of fitting people to models, we should “reconstruct our models to fit people.”

That’s nice. That is after all why one goes to college, no? Not to better grow themselves according to the moral model of society, but instead to find themselves…and then create a standard around that. I know that worked for me in calculus and chemistry. I wasn’t bound by the preexisting models that the teacher called “right answers.” I fit their model to a standard that fit me. Oddly enough, they didn’t want me in medical school.

But since we’re hyper-enlightened now, we know that there is no set standard for sex or sexual behavior, but we as society create these roles for ourselves. Therefore, there is no objective reason to keep the traditional taboos at bay. They don’t really harm you. The only reason people are ashamed/disgusted by committing incest is because that’s what we, as overbearing, closed-minded, patriarchal society, have conditioned them to be.  Brother-lovers are just creating a new type of normal, doing what makes them feel happy. We should really delve further into the depths of what we once considered moral depravity, because maybe that’s where the answers are.

Oops, I forgot. This is a women’s studies class; there are no answers. We’re in it for the journey. We’re discovering ourselves. We’re all consenting adults here.  Maybe once-notable director Nick “love your sister if you want” Cassavetes can present his new incest film to the class?

P.S.  The University Of Missouri Columbia received over $174 million in state, federal, and sales taxes last year. Good investment.