Parents should hold “sex-sleepovers” for teens?
This Week’s Sign the Apocalypse is Upon Us
By Rebekah Maxwell
Since all the kids are doing it, all the cool parents are helping them do it better.
From the bright sparks that brought you child-killing as birth control, LGBT experiments as classroom assignments, and sex-ed in kindergarten…all while telling you, the parents, they can raise your kids better than you…now comes the newest progressive parenting tip: hold sex sleepovers for your kids.
From USA Today:
“…in the real world, widespread acceptance of premarital sex and cohabitation has opened up a debate about whether parents should let their kids have romantic sleepovers or even let boyfriends or girlfriends move in.
While that seems outlandish to some, the truth is youthful cohabitation is already a fact of life. Research compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that by age 18, 9% — nearly one in 10 — of women have cohabitated. By age 20, that number shoots up to 26%, and growing. While there are no good statistics on how many of these cohabitating couples are also living with parents, the fact that rising numbers of young people are still living with parents suggests that some overlap is quite likely. Over half of those ages 18-24 live with at least one parent.
Americans are rapidly becoming more flexible in their attitudes about what family life “ought” to be. The expectation that kids live as dependent minors until they move out, get a job, get married and start families of their own is giving way to families and couples choosing their living situations based on individual needs rather than traditional definitions. The old-school parental claim that their offspring should never have premarital sex under their roof is yielding to a more accepting attitude about their growing and grown children’s sexuality. It makes sense that this attitude would extend beyond the 21-year-old living at home to the 16-year-old enmeshed in her first relationship.
Because your job as a parent is to encourage your 16 year-old’s base urges instead of elevating her standards.
After all, as one Huffington Post columnist puts it,
Would you rather teach your kids that sex is dangerous and forbidden or that it is permissible and… well, awesome? Are you a “responsible-sex-is-good” parent, or more in the “scare-them-silly” camp? It seems logical to me that the same way I try to teach my kids to exercise, sleep well and be good people, I would teach them to have healthy sex and sleep with other good people.
Well, I’m glad you have standards. Because sex between 14-year olds is as normal as exercise and good sleep. And no teenager ever caught a sexually-transmitted infection/disease from a “good person.”
Even the New York Times got in on the action…so to speak. This column (by a man who has no children, but draws from his personal experience with his first boyfriend) declares allowing your teen to have sexual relationships in your house, with clean sheets and homemade breakfasts in the morning, is really the sensible, cultured approach. Good etiquette.
Why, you may ask, would progressive parents be worried about the sex their teens are having? How do we define the “good sex” we’re teaching kids to have? Obviously, teaching them to waiting until marriage, restrict yourself to one partner, that there’s a purpose and a meaning to sex and the intimacy (and the progeny) that results…that’s out the window with fairytales and “happily ever afters.” Sex is only about getting pleasure and trying not to get pregnant.
The main arguments that modern media (im)moralists present for hosting your kids’ sex sleepovers are thus:
1) Europeans are doing it. And we all want to be more like Europe.
2) You’ll be much a much cooler parent.
3) You can’t force kids to do shameful things in secret. That would make them feel shame.
4) Your kids will be living at home until their 30s anyway. Better get used to it now.
And the ultimate selling point:
4) It reduces the risk of teen pregnancy. Because the ultimate evil to be avoided at all costs is for your kids to play adults with baby-making behavior and be punished with your grandkids.
Through the sarcasm filter…it is a parent’s job to teach their children about sex. Absolutely and without question. But how and why should parents teach them? Is it about helping your kids fulfill their urges (no matter how harmful, degrading, or dangerous) because it’s what they want?
Or is it about providing your children the truth? Is it about developing your children’s trust with a long record of honesty and openness, so they come to you early on with sexual questions and struggles? Are we to facilitate their desires, or elevate them? To make “good sex” about personal pleasure in the short-term, or mutual unity and care for a life-time? If the best way to healthy, happy lives (including sex lives) is through lifelong commitment to one spouse, wouldn’t that be the best sex education be to teach?
Or we could just convert your little girl’s princess room into a love-nest. They’ve got the condoms from health class already.