A Modest Proposal for Polygamy

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by Steve Deace

This article was originally published in USATODAY.com.

Those arguing for “marriage equality” at the U.S. Supreme Court this week should be ashamed of themselves.

They’re just as guilty of discrimination as those dastardly conservatives still bitterly clinging to their guns and their religion. Why no argument for polygamy, polyamory and other forms of diversity? Why are they only defending their exclusive definition of diversity?

How dare those seeking to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act signed by President Clinton, or Proposition 8 ratified by the people of California, stop at just redefining marriage to include two consenting adults of the same gender. Why do these people believe they have the authority to draw a moralistic line against any consenting adults, and thus force their moral standard upon the rest of us?

Besides, society’s views on these other progressive forms of relationship diversity are shifting, and shouldn’t we always base our concept of right and wrong off what we see on TV, just like our gender-neutral maternal units taught us. Who better to consult on moral matters than the huddled masses that paid money to see all those Saw and Hostel movies? For example, there is a popular reality show on basic cable called Sister Wives about the lost art of polygamy. Showtime is airing a trailblazing show on the multiple wedded bliss of polyamory.

Oh, sure, Showtime also features a series with a creepy old dude watching 1970s porn with Z-list celebrities as well, but who are we to judge?

Why would those seeking to redefine marriage to include homosexual monogamy play right into the hands of those Draconian religious fundamentalists who think they and their alleged “God” have the authority to narrowly define love among consenting adults? Why aren’t those arguing for “marriage equality” being inclusive by including marriage among multiple consenting adults as well? Besides, polygamy is in the Bible no less. Abraham, David and Solomon are just some of that dusty old book’s heroes who were polygamists. No member of the American Taliban can claim their puny God destroyed a whole city over polygamy, so why not be more inclusive?

If the government has no power to discriminate against relationships involving two consenting adults of the same gender, then why does it have the power to discriminate against multiple consenting adults of any gender? Next thing you know we’ll be back to banning interracial dating!

If we’re truly champions of diversity, it’s time to embrace polygamy, polyamory or “multiple marriage.” What better way for children to learn about different cultures and belief systems than to grow up around them in their own families. Imagine children being born into a household where each dad has a different religion, each mom speaks a different language and then sometimes the dads are attracted to one another as well as the moms (and vice versa). Talk about covering all your bases! What a richness of blessed diversity could be found in such an endeavor?

It’s time for the marriage equality movement to stop being hypocrites and cease practicing its own form of discrimination, and to stop compromising with pro-marriage bigots. Take a principled stand. Either all of us get to do whatever we want with as many whomevers as we want or none of us are equal.

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  • Rick Trim

    Good job Steve! I see it as bidding an additional $100 at an auction going up in increments of $10. In the right circumstance, it can cause your opponent to throw up their hands. I really think if this could be more widely accepted as the result of the current reasoning, some eyes might be opened to the folly of it all.

    • buffonelder101

      you have to understand that these supporters reasoning ends once they feel their actions/desires have been justified. they don’t care about anything else. the argument itself is a means to an ends… when looked at this way, these people are not much different than a strung out heroin user

  • buffonelder101

    you mean my whole fallacy is wrong?

  • http://www.facebook.com/eadurbin Eric Durbin

    Why stop at holy matrimony? Perhaps we should grow the size and scope of government so that our courts and legislation can decide who can enter into other religious sacraments. A defense of communion act? Should we be required to get a license from the court house for baptism or confirmation? Imagine the revenues that could be made for the state. The courts could then decide who should be allowed enter into other religious covenants to ensure we’re being fair and inclusive.

  • Chris

    You cannot argue for gay marriage and have any problem with polygamy.

    It is time polygamy is accepted and the discrimination ends. I want to marry as many wives as I want. How dare you stand in my way. It’s time to organize and bring about fairness to all. We are suffering the same discrimination as the blacks did in the 60’s. Right now my 4 girlfriends and I want to marry each other but our bigoted society says it’s only 1 and 1. WE WANT EQUAL PROTECTION!